To Be Or Not To Be Online? That Is The Question.
Wanting to be lovely between the 1s and 0s.
There’s a level above wanting to be perfect. Many people want to be the “best versions of themselves” for the satisfaction of shedding all the blemishes that make them human. This is a very human emotion that no one can truly be faulted for since it's only a response to how desirability politics affects us and our apparent value, but I’m talking about this ideology’s 2.0 version - wanting any and everyone to be attracted to you. Wanting to be the object of everyone’s desires is a-whole-nother ball game that only causes overwhelming disappointment when taking it on is realised to be an uphill battle. Being attractive to the masses is, without a question impossible, but the human brain - the one that makes us believe and feel that our experiences are the very first in human history - sees a hope that simply can’t be fulfilled. It’s obvious that there is such a power in beauty that makes people lose their minds trying to figure out how to achieve such a subjective thing.
In the article Nefertiti was more than just a pretty face by National Geographic in 2022 stated that “the claim that she was beautiful, ‘perfect of appearance,’” seems to be born out by the depictions of her that have survived to today,” and while the article touches on the many introspective and impactful moments of Nefertiti’s life, it’s important to note that her beauty was mentioned at all. Why it has become such a topic of discussion to begin with.. This isn’t a comment on the work of the writers of National Geographic, but society's obsession with the cells that form a symmetrical face. It’s an odd addiction, but while there are those that share this opinion, there are others who strive for the kind of influence the queen had while knowing there is a one in a million chance of doing so successfully.
“The claim that she was beautiful, ‘perfect of appearance,’” seems to be born out by the depictions of her that have survived to today.”
Enter the digital age where the masses are handed to you on a literal rectangle with a flashing screen. I’ve said in the past that people around my age were the real testing bunnies for the World Wide Web. Innocent, bright-eyed twelve year olds thrown into the realm of Tumblr and forced to navigate on our own - not because our parents didn’t care but because if you asked them what a Tumblr was their first instinct would probably have been to picture an eighty seven year old falling down landing steps of their suburban bungalow. So, because of situational ignorance, we are test subjects who've built up a load of virtual paranoia and are struggling with realising that other people are more attractive than ourselves - not just in your home towns anymore, but all over the globe. But don’t cry for yourself just yet. The hardest lesson, or new outlook depending on how you want to think about it, was that people were less judgemental in real life as they were online. With the new factor of people being able to do anything on the web with no consequences, it became easier to express your thoughts no matter how hateful.
Having the reflection of a social presence where you can see yourself and your portrayal to the world in one video, picture or comment exposes the fact that we are all being perceived all the time, in every scenario, no matter what. Worse, there’s nothing to be done.
These social presences with a focus on aesthetics have been the cause of so many alternate realities and modes of escapism for all ages. Are the aesthetics that we do or don’t create on social media reflect who we already are or who we want to be? With this question being so broad and indefinite since it’s obvious that its answer will vary from person to person, it’s important to take note of how we as people move through the web individually and collectively.
Without attempting to pass judgement, it’s extremely interesting how we frame ourselves to the public when influenced by the masses or even a single star or influencer. It’s easy to remember Instagram, the world’s most popular social media site for over 10 years, as going through waves. Waves of aesthetics in beauty became popular and took over the world. Although mentioning them seems tiring since their lives are in the news and thrust onto us nonconsensually, the Kardashians are a perfect example of a wave that has soon died down but had a great impact in how little girls wanted to look and how it changed what it meant to be desirable to virtually everyone. What once came from the emphasis on thinness (heavily influenced by the modelling industry and glorification drug abuse in the 90s), morphed into the obsession with having heavier makeup, dark hair and the racial ambiguity that the famous sisters possessed. Now in 2023, we see an influx of the “clean girl” aesthetic that focuses on the use of minimal makeup, and later shifted in the draw toward thin body types once again and the aggressive exclusivity that comes with those things.
In a video titled Social Media Fashion Is Fake? by Fashion Elitist, a fashion influencer who expresses his criticisms of the fashion industry, points out the use of extraordinary outfits online and that people know that these outfits wouldn’t really work or be done in real life. Youtuber, Laini Ozark often talks about this idea in multiple videos of hers that reflect on if certain fashion trends are actually being worn outside in our neighbourhoods by real people or if they are just made to be alluring through the guise of the online world. What the two influencers have gathered is that no, these trends don’t really work in the real world and are not really being actioned in real life.
When looking at beauty and aesthetics, one must wonder if they are being actioned as well or if they are purely a work of fiction. Does wanting to be perceived a certain way to the masses and wanting to be beautiful in whatever way you deem beauty to be actually push people in real life to go to the extremes we assume? This isn’t to imply that harmful beauty standards don’t affect society and the individual, but one can wonder if the obsession for beauty is more aggressive through ones and zeros than through life.
When watching people manoeuvre through their real lives, people are much more preoccupied with their kids and jobs and what everyone is going to eat for dinner and what time an appointment is rather than how they look. There seems to be a parallel universe where people don’t actually care as much about being perceived as the aesthetics cause us to believe. When finding yourself consumed with your online persona, it’s important to analyse whether or not it translates to others when they stand in front of you and if it’s existence or lack thereof is truly meaningful. Is holding the power Nefertiti had even worth all the effort at all, or will it ultimately lead you back to where you started when a new way of being beautiful comes along?
